A message

This was a message from my friend to me.. I think it was well-written..

'' I think this is a turning point for us. b4, we are like a roller coaster, too many ups and downs.. we almost crashed and burnt twice.. I hope we'll be like a train after this.. on plain track but we can see beautiful scenery along the journey.. but there's also bumps and noise.. and still glide on the track peacefully.. this relationship is too precious to let go.. we'll b friend till d end of time.. ''

yes, he was a special friend for me. sometimes, i cant guess what is he thinking.. I believe that he doesnt want to let people know all the things about him too.. helah belah diri? protective? sometimes we can be kinda close.. but we always sometimes don't.. hmmm.. this kind of unstable relationship can really kill me.. maybe it's because of the miserable past experience that happened to me at school before. well, i wont demand others to understand... and i dont want to mention anymore..

My friend said I admire and praise people easily.. She was right.. When I saw others did the thing that I couldn't do, I would think that" wahhhhhhhhh, so li hai this person!!!"

Why I wanna say this? because he is the person that I always think he is very li hai one.. He is very talented............. *skip the talents part* XD

I may care too much about a friend.. chinese proverb says," u depend on your parents at home, but u depend on your friends when you are outside.", thats why good friends are extremely important..

Yet, I wanna change my habits of putting overload caring on a friendship/relationship.. I have learnt that there doesn't have a fixed formula in a friendship.. You are not necessarily need to stick all day with a friend, baru call "friend".. the person that you care maybe choke to death because you don't give him/her more spaces. If I always feel insecure of a friendship, it is because I have Extra useless feeling... And now, I need to always remind myself to get rid of this kind of feeling to avoid another heart-broken.

"Others do not have to treat you the way that you treat them" I learnt this from my friend too..She is totally right..

I am naive to imagine that "maybe he will do this to me". but when the reality doesnt not happen on me, & it happens on other, sadness is the only path. (strange huh? My wishes... come true on other's people... woeful....... ) A friend has the authority to treat other people good... rather than me.. So, I will stop myself from imagining these stupid things from now on.

There is so much that I need to learn in my life... Knowledge, friendship, love, and so on.... I should stop imagine and beg for the thing that I don't need now... High expectation will lead to destruction..

I only need to expect and focus on the job that I have to complete.. I can't even manage my life and act like a 21 year-old person. I hate being childish but I can't help it.. I can only realise that I have done a totally big mistake after the incidents.

I did not have a new start in the semester 1 and my 21 year-old life.. My life was disorganized and my results are totally a mess.

SIGH. WTF. I hope I can still ameliorate the situation in the next semester. I am not dare to write out the resolutions and the beautiful wishes. coz Im afraid that I cant do them again and only talk big here.

it sucks when your mind says let go, but your heart tells you to hold on.. I hope we wont quarrel anymore. Cold war is suck.

God bless..

-要提起就要完全提起，要放下就要完全放下